With our move to Devon imminent I have been worried about whether this is Gods timing or ours. The Lord spoke to me quite powerfully today. He reminded me about Adam and Eve and showed me the most fundamental things for us all is: (1) A place to live (2) A job (3) A walk with Him (4) Family.

This desire to go NOW is from Him. He gives us the desires of our heart, he gives us desires and we go for them. I have often said, God has always provided a home and jobs for us. Well that is what He is about for each of us, that is our basic need and He will provide it.

Often at night I get restless and just want to go for a walk. The thing I am looking forward to most when we move is being able to have a scenic walk at night. Why am I surprised that I want to walk at night? What do we see in Genesis? God walking with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day, evening. This again is the most fundamental thing for us, to have our walk, our relationship with Him at night. After a long day at work, having had our family time, we then walk with God and talk to Him about what has happened in our day. What concerns we may have.

When God put me on this earth He prepared a home for me, as I got older He has prepared jobs for me, and He has always given us homes. Each home providing exactly what we have needed for that time. Why would He change now? He would not, because the Bible tells me He is an unchanging God. Somewhere, right now in Devon, a house is being prepared. Either being built, or the family in it are getting ready to move on too.

This brings me to family, another major thing with the Lord. The Bible says He places us in family. In today's society family is breaking up, as Christians I want to show that family is important to us. We seem to be asking for a tall order, a 4 bed house so we can all move in together, but because I know this is in Gods heart I believe that He will provide.

The Lord spoke to me today about RESTORATION, and I know that He says, 'I WILL RESTORE TO YOU ALL THAT YOU HAVE LOST'. I feel that along the way I have lost my calling in the church. I have allowed others jealousy, spitefulness etc to rob me of this and I have not fought for it. I am seeking God about healing from this and strength to fight for my rightful place in the church. Meanwhile, the Lord impressed the word upon my heart for a different reason. RESTORATION of children, one that is far away from me and grandchildren that are far from the Lord having once made strong commitments.

I am going to say to the Lord, 'I will not let you go until you bless me'. In other words I will not give up waiting for promises to be fulfilled.

God bless you and if anything I have said has touched you let me know.

Some beautiful holidays.

HOLDING HANDS

I will never forget that day I took my little grandsons hand, he was only four years old, he gripped my hand as I took him to the shop. My heart was breaking inside as I had no idea when I would see this little one and two other grandsons again.

I love the way that hand signifies trust, you are going to take care of them, look after them, protect them, lead them. It felt so good holding his little hand. Somehow even though I had no way of knowing what the future held deep down I had this feeling that it was not going to be an easy path and there was much pain to come. A God given instinct I suppose!

It has been quite a few years now, I long for that little hand to be in mine again. To feel his trust, his love, but alas time goes by quickly and children grow and I will be a bit of a stranger now. Probably not someone he would feel he could trust.

Another child went that day also, a woman perhaps, but still to me my child. She no longer wants to reach out a hand to me and at times it is like a spear piercing my heart. The years are passing and time becomes precious as one gets older. A few olive branches later still no reconciliation. Perhaps there never will be but one cannot give up hope, for without hope we are lost.

Sometimes I cry out to God, ‘Why?’ and try to bend His arm to work in the situation, but we all have free will. I cry to Him of my pain and how awful it is and how He could not understand. It is then He gently reminds me of all the hands that He has held that now reject Him. He reminds me that just as I wait for this child to return so does He, along with many others hands.

Today as you read this if there is a hand you are waiting to hold again, stop now and send up a prayer to the Father who awaits many little hands today.

Under His Wings

UNDER HIS WINGS.

As I stood being prayed for I was aware of someone behind me, yet how could it be someone when they towered over me about eight foot high? Then each side of me I saw something pure white stretching out beside me about 4 foot on each side. I thought at first it was a cloak of pure white huge feathers. Then they wrapped around me and I was totally enfolded by this cloak. But then I realised this was not a cloak, this was feathers, wrapped around me, and within them I was totally safe. They were completely soft and I felt like a baby being swaddled. I knew I was safe within those wings. I was reminded that the Holy Spirit is often depicted as a dove and I realised that this beautiful being was the Holy Spirit. I was under the wings of the Lord, I was “IN HIM” the Holy Spirit was engulfing me in Him. Then the Lord spoke to me “Psalm 91”.

PSALM 91

You who sit down in the High God’s presence, spending time in Shaddai’s shadow, Say this: “God, you are my refuge. I trust in You and I am safe”. That is right He rescues you from hidden traps, shields you from deadly hazards. His huge outstretched arms protect you - under them you are perfectly safe; His arms fend off all harm.

You will stand untouched, watch it all from a distance, watch the wicked turn into corpses. Yes, because God is your refuge, the High God your very own home, Evil cannot get close to you, harm cannot get through the door.

He ordered His angels to guard you wherever you go. If you stumble, they will catch you, their job is to keep you from falling. You will walk unharmed among lions and snakes, and bring down your foot upon young lions and serpents upon the path.

“If you hold on to me for dear life“, says God, “I will get you out of any trouble. I will give you the best of care if you will only get to know and trust Me. Call me and I will answer, be at your side in bad times, I will rescue you, then show you what it means to come under my authority. I will give you a long life.

Father x

(NIV and Message mixed)

PAINFUL PATH

Lord, the path I take is such a dangerous route

I have been deeply wounded

It would seem that tears are so often part of my life

So often I am knocked about

Rising to my feet time and time again

I totter trying to keep my balance.

It has made me very cautious

Often I avoid the path ahead

I look on it with dread and consternation

Before me often I have seen a path of broken glass

No solid ground to place my feet upon

Deep inside I cringe at all the pain

I know I will have to bear if I go on.

The Lord says:

My child, once very long ago

I took a path like that with apprehension

Treading where no one else had ever trod before

Falling from the weight of all I carried

Struggling to raise myself up from the floor

Finding another kick to knock Me down again.

Deep inside I took each step with dread.

I took that route so you need never take it

So turn now from the path ahead and look into My eyes

Then look back upon the way again and tell me what you see.

I did as this dear gentle man commanded

I turned and looked back upon the path of glass

Tears misted my vision

My heart was wrenched

For upon the glass layed the man

'Come, walk on Me' He said.

Isaiah 51 v 23

Any You made Your back like the ground, like a street to walked over.

HOLY SPIRIT

Holy Spirit who can speak of You?

Who can find words to explain?

You dwell with me and fill my being

You are my lifeline to the Lord

I would never have come this far without You.

All I know of Jesus You taught me

Imparted the love of God to me

And while my heart melted with His affection

You came along and sealed Yourself in me

A covenant of the presence of the Trinity.

Ti's You who sparked a flame in My life

Set me burning for Jesus

No one can extinguish this blaze

For You continually supply me with oil

Making me a lamp in the hand of my God.

At times You are like a river

Deep impenetrable depths I could never reach

As vast as an ocean, full of hidden treasures

Given eternity I could never completely explore You

For there is always something new to discover.

You bring the scriptures alive to me

You put words in my mouth

If danger is imminent You warn me

When my spirit is tainted from the world

You are a refiners fire who purifies.

With one word of permission

You take the helm of my life

Guiding, teaching and leading the way

I need never fear the ambushes, traps and snares

For with You I never face anything alone.

There will be big decisions to make in my life

On the road many turn offs I could take

How could I ever face them

Without the wisdom of Your advice?

Your counsel is so valuable to me.

I often think of Christs sacrifice

Of Fathers love and care

Yet my heart thrills and rejoices

At the added bonus they have given me

That wonderful gift of Themselves.

DREANS & DESIRES

Deep within me a small desire is rising

As the days pass I nurture it and it grows

In times of calm when no one is about

I take my desire and look at it

Like a pebble in my hand

I turn it and survey it from all angles

Imagining all that could come of it.

Each time I do this is grows

But when I hide it within me again

It becomes like a stone in my heart

Burdening me weighing me down

Until one day as I take it in my hand

A voice in love and gentleness speaks

'Give me that burden, let it go'.

In panic I hold it even tighter

I could not bear to give this desire up

But the voice is insistent 'Cast it from you'.

With tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat

I cast my pebble of desire from me

Watching it fall to the ground

It rolls away from me, out of reach.

But wait, as it rolls it collects earth

Like a snowball growing as it moves away

And the voice again speaks:

'While it is clutched to you I cannot help

Release it to Me, into My hands

Hands that create and form from clay

Those capable hands of a potter'.

'Now see your desire in My hands

Like that clay I took in My hands long ago

Forming it I breathed the breath of life and it became a man

Now I will breath that breath again into your desire

It will live, it will exist

Becoming a living reality in your life

Because I will give you the desire of your heart'

RIVER OF GOD - EZEKIEL 47

O River of God flowing fresh and deep

I'm not satisfied with paddling any more

Take my hand Precious Lord as I wade further in

Give me peace as You stand by my side.

There is no fear in me if my eyes stay on You

And even as I feel the current pulling

I will not be afraid, I will not fear the pull

For I will hear Your soft gently voice as You say

'Swim with Me my child, Hold My hand steadfast

Though the current is getting strong, and the river very deep

You are safe in My arms, Just let the flow take you on'.

When the enemy sees you have waded in

He will show you the rapids up ahead

But be still, do not fear

For the One who takes your hand

Can lead you safely through

And keep you from the rocks.

If you don't try and swim against the flow

There will be no hard work, For the current takes you on

And the Saviour at your side knows all the strokes.

Rainbow

An aid to remembering a prayer of praise. Based on the rainbow:

Red: Thanking the Lord for His sacrifice, His blood shed on the cross to give me life.

Orange: (Sunrise) Thanking God for each new day that He gives me, thanking Him for being in each one of those days.

Yellow: (Like anointing oil). Thanking God for His Holy Spirit within me that gives me all the resources I need for each new day.

Green: (Like pasture). Thanking Him for his provision every day, for my job, food, drink etc.

Blue: (Like the sky). Thanking Him for His covering and protection every day.

Indigo: (Like the deep blue sea). Thanking Him that no matter how long I live I will never know the depths of His love, or gifting, or provision; than He is deeper than the deepest ocean.

Violet: (Kingly robes). Acknowledging that the Lord is King of my life. That I am the daughter of a King and remembering that His provision is from heavens store house. No matter what I need for each new day He can provide it.

SITTING AT THE LORDS FEET

Come sit at My feet and rest your head upon My knee

Let Me wipe that frown from off your brow

Why do you look as if you had the worries of the World upon your shoulders?

Have I not told you many times

Bring all those problems to me?

Why worry about tomorrow, the bills, the food, the clothing you should buy?

Have I not told you I will provide for you?

Why, why do you never trust Me?

Your voice is sweet and fragrant rising to My ear

I only wish you knew how much is pleases Me

When you just sit at My feet

Why do you struggle aimlessly to please Me?

When all I want is just a short time daily with you alone.

Come, walk with Me

Come, take My hand.

I put my hand in his so warm and soft

I squeezed and found a scar etched deep into His palm

I looked up to His radiant smiling face

And when I saw the love within those eyes

Tears of adoration sprang into my eyes.

'Why do you love me so my Lord' I cried.

'When all I every do is let you down'

'I LOVE YOU CHILD' He said, 'I LOVE YOU SO

AND THAT IS ALL YOU EVER NEED TO KNOW.

Susan Farndale (My first poem)