A NEW ROAD

How many of us have said, 'If only I could wipe out the last hour, the last week, the last month'?

It takes just one minute to change the whole course of ones life forever.  To change to something so destructive and heart breaking that will mean your are not the same person again.

The new road we have been forced upon can be painful and not the road we would have ever chosen. How tenuous life is, one minute and the whole course is changed. A loved one snatched, a child ill, maimed or gone. The repercussions can effect many lives, like a pebble thrown into a mill pond the ripples spread out to encompass all around.

Events cannot be taken back once they have happened we cannot turn back time.  Like toothpaste once out it cannot be put back into the tube.  We cannot turn back, it has happened and we must all ,live with the consequences, even if it was not us that made the choices.

We walk a new path which we can fight or accept.  I fought for some years but it didn't change anything, except me and that was not for good. Hopefully we come to a place where we accept this is the new road, we are on  and  we might as well accept it and move on.  In the Bible Lot's wife looked back and became a pillar of salt and never moved on.  Looking back thinking 'If only' causes us to stay where we are.

Bodily we move on but mentally sometimes it is harder. We have an imagination that sometimes works on it's own. You read a book and find it has wandered off on its own and is taking you back down that path you wanted to forget. You sleep and that cruel mind has taken you to a place you desire so much and your heart thrills and you are so excited that things have changed; but no, wait, you wake and your heart breaks for your mind has been cruel and lied to you while you slept. What we have done is tried to make the situation what we wanted it to be.

I cannot turn back time, I cannot change a situation, but that does not mean I do not mourn what has gone, what has changed.

We all make choices and I would beg you, before you make choices that are life changing,. THINK. What might the repercussions be? What road might this take you down? What will this do to me? What will this do to others? Will it improve lives or will it wreck them?

Here I am, I stand on a hill and look back at what has been, storm clouds are gathering, the sun has gone, it is getting very cold and I feel a heaviness that oppresses me.  Then I look ahead and see the sun shining, a rainbow of promise of new things is ahead the sun warms my heart and the heaviness lifts.  Now I have choices, do I stay looking over my shoulder or do I move on into new things?

I made the choice and the sun shines now for me, I have a new life, I will never forget the past but I cannot stay longingly looking back for ever.  Because you see, my choices affect others too and I need to think of them.

Here I am looking out to sea and I can see all that open space that lays ahead, new things, new roads, new friends. Good bye past, there were good times, but now I must move on and leave you behind.

You know who you are, goodbye.  If you should ever want to change things, you know where I am, but I don't think things could ever be the same, however, I am willing to give it a try.